Thursday, October 25, 2018

Disappearing act...

My niece has Anorexia, this is for her and the millions of others who struggle...

September 4th

“The more weight I lose, the less of me there will be. Maybe before too long I won’t be here at all”

September 7th

“My heart beats so fast sometimes. I think the faster it beats the more calories I burn. It scares me a little though. It’s getting so it happens a lot now. There are times when it feels like it will pound its way right out of my chest."

 "I wonder how much a heart weighs.”

September 10th

“This past year my mom’s gotten so old looking. She has these big black circles under her eyes. It looks like she’s been in a fight.”

September 13th

“Sometimes it feels like my bones are rubbing together, but that’s impossible, right?”

September 16th

“When I weigh myself, I stand really still or the needle on the scale might move and I might weigh a little more. When I step up on the scale I pretend that I am a ballerina. The softer I step on the scale the lighter I am."

"My mom keeps hiding the scale. Why does she hate me?”

September 19th

“I don’t really get hunger anymore. Sometimes when I drink water to take the laxatives, I feel so full I think I’ll explode! I’ve tried taking them without water but I start to gag. No sense throwing up perfectly good laxatives, so for now I just drink the water.”

September 21rd

“Today the doctor. said if I don’t get my heart rate stable I could have a heart attack. I know he’s just trying to scare me. I mean who ever heard of a 15-year-old having a heart attack?”

September 24th

“Yesterday mom came into the bathroom while I was changing my clothes. She stood there staring at me and I kept screaming for her to get out.”

 “She said my skin looked transparent then started to cry. God! Why can’t she just mind her own business? It’s my body!”

September 27th…

“If I stopped doing this, what would I do with my life? This is my life.”

September 28th 8:12 am…

“My girlfriend says I have a perception problem that I don’t realize I’m beginning to look like a skeleton. She’s so jealous.”

September 28th 3:42pm…

“I wonder how much I weigh right now?”

September 29th…

“If I stopped doing this, what would I do with my life? This is my life.”


  1. Hari Om
    heart-rending. I had a close friend who was bulimic. All we can do is Love... YAM xx

  2. This has got to be hard for those who love her to watch. :(

  3. started when I was 13; was proud of myself when at age 16 I
    maintained 80 pounds; looked like a ******* mess junior year
    HS year book photo ~~~~

    "woke up" one day and said what the hell have I done
    to myself; as I couldn't and wouldn't "hear" what others were saying..

    I was maybe....17?

    sadly; it never really goes away I guess; I think....

    at 60 plus I still have an eating disorder; it's not that I don't eat; it's because I have a host of excuses; all lame ass, not to; more or less

    I hope someone; some how gets through to her; or she "wakes up" long before I did ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥